Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
