Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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