fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
"it" just moved
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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