He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
