I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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