Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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