we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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