Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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