I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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