how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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