I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
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It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
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Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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