Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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