ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
