Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
