Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
