I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
