I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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