Pappa wants mamma naked
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
