i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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