bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
