I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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