I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
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weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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