eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
