well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize