i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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