They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
