seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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