On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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