I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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