During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
