This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
