hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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