if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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