I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
