Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
