Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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