I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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