Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
