its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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