Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize