I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
