So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
