I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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