have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
