The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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