Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
