Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
