New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
