Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
