Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
