What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize