We're facebook friends in real life
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
