He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
