Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
