so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
