If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
