epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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