I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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