I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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