please come you make the beer taste better
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
