When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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