some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
