It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize