I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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