Sponge bath it is.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
